Yearly eary

It is time for my yearly checkup to see that the lymph is clear. I am kinda dreading it as I have been bleeding for a whole year and something tells me that is not a good sign. But as life goes I am heading into Mombasa tomorrow to see my trusted pathologist.

Things with me and the hubby keeps deteriorating and I feel lost and helpless and sad. My little 4 year old is picking up on all the tension between us and cries every time he leaves to go out with hid friends. I feel like he is living his life without us and enjoying it.

Well anyway it 4am and I should probably try to get some sleep so I am fighting for tomorrow. Like before It feels like this is my last night before a big change and I have no idea why I feel this way, doomed, dire and deserted

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