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  • I’ve got sunshine….

    So I got home and my family was waiting, happy and full of tears. My toto said before being asked, mama you can’t pick me. How sweet and heartbreaking and filled to the brim with love. Recovery was made easy with lots of constant kisses and hugs and tons of love by hubby….. I was…

  • Method to madness

    Yesterday was just awful. Yesterday was a day I don’t want to think of or have ever again. Yesterday was painful and emotional and draining. It was never ending and all consuming. Yesterday is over and today I am kicking ass! No pain just swelling….so my boobs feels the same size they were which is…

  • Hairy scary

    Yesterday I started of kicking ass and taking names and then it all changed in seconds and ended being the worst day of my life ever. It was worst then the day I discovered the tooth fairy was fake, worst then the day my heart got broken for the first time, worst then my first…

  • sobering

    Everyday I hear from friends, family and acquaintance how brave I am…..but Sunday was sobering.   I went with my family to our usual hangout for Sunday lunch, and it was so nice to get back to normal, until that sobering moment hits you in the face like a bucket of icewater.   The table…

  • mole

    Would you believe it they left the mole…..they left the freaking mole! I have had the most annoying mole on the side of my nipple and the surgeon left it there. It was one of the first things I asked when they did the dressing change and it wasn’t seen because of the silver stains…

  • The heart wants…

    As I lie awake, waiting for sleep to make me it’s slave, I cuddle with my toto. Her hair smells just like the very first day I held her and she still fits in perfectly to our cuddle spot. I feel the milk shoot in my breast and the heaviness of one breast resting on…

  • Disciples of decision

    After a very very very long time pondering the reconstruction of my nipples I have finally decided that it’s not for me. On one hand I am just wanting to be done with this whole very stretched out process and on the other hand I don’t want nipple stand forever hahaha. So I am working…

  • The heavens have opened

    Today is an amazing day…. after weeks of agonizing and worrying and living in two trees, my medical aid has finally sent me an email confirming to pay for both surgeries. No more lying awake at night worrying where and how the money would have been gotten…. no more stress! It feels like a very…

  • Pickled floors

    My last wait. My last fill. My last injections into my chest. My last time walking away knowing there is another time. My last! Sitting here waiting for the dr to come and fill me, I can’t help but notice how uninviting hospitals are… the floors are so bare and cold and sterile and scary.…