came out of nowhere

I am spending all my free time prepping for the operation…. not for me but for the house. I am making pies, risotto, menus and organised shopping to be done and collected. I just want everything to go smoothly for both my hubby and toto while I’ll be in hospital.

I am literally micro managing every little thing….. I don’t sleep and I think of nothing but making sure everything is in place for them when I leave.

I found myself blurting out to my mom, if I die please fly to Kenya to be there for my family. Imagine I have no reservation about the operation and out of nowhere came that sentence….. So I went back to the drawing board. What is wrong with me…. why am I not worried about the operation, but I am subconsciously worried that I might die…. Isn’t the whole point of this operation to prevent death? Maybe I am not yet there and maybe I will still have blurting moments…. I just need to stay busy and stay focused.

Stick to the regime of vitamins and oils and things to promote healing and stay focused on the second and last surgery.

Let me get back to making freezer meals ….. stay focused!!!!!

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